Post by CAPRICE EMLYN KENSINGTON on Oct 19, 2009 20:09:25 GMT -6
here's the day you hoped would
never come don't feed me violins just
run with me through rows of speeding
cars, the paper cuts the cheating lovers
the coffee's never strong enough, i know
you think it's more than just bad luck
¤´¯`-´¯`¤ ¤´¯`-´¯`¤¤´¯`-´¯`¤ ¤´¯`-´¯`¤¤´¯`-´¯`¤ ¤´¯`-´¯`¤¤´¯`-´¯`¤
Caprice Emlyn Priestly-Kensington.
"Cap, Riese, Emm, Emmy, Priestly, Kensington, P.K."
"The first and most important thing you need to know about me is that my ass is addicted to coffee. In fact, I can't go more than four hours without having another cup in my system. I've heard all kinds of jokes stemming from suggestions to go to group therapy fro being a coffee-holic, to being placed onto an IV filled with freshly brewed coffee. They were joking, but the IV sounds like a great deal to me.
I'm interested in several things, but I'm sure the tabloids have already covered all of the small stuff. I will, however, give you few of the things that are most important to me. I love to dance, it's my main passion, and while I've been in a movie, and a few television shows, acting can not compare to how my heart and soul feel when I'm twirling around, and dancing freely. I'm also really into candles and incense. I love the smell that emanates from them, and it's ridiculous how many candles I have in the home I share with my husband. In fact, it's ridiculous how many candles I own period. I'm known for leaving at least six candles any where I'll be staying. Even my father's house has my old collection of candles, and you can bet your ass that I bring candles to any hotel I'll be staying in.
I'm a shopping fiend. It's one thing to go shopping, but when I do, I make the most of the experience. First, I never go shopping alone, and I always try on as many clothes, and outfits as possible, and there's nothing like hearing the sweet sound of the credit card receipt printing after I've made a rather large purchase, and you can bet your ass that when I have a free moment from work, and my husband, I'm going shopping with my girls before hitting the town for a night full of parties in the hottest and latest fashions.
I'm obsessed with the rain. It's fun in the sun, but when the moon is shining bright in the sky that has opened it's soul and released it's tears upon the world below, there's something inside of me that just melts, and as quickly as I can get sick and catch a cold, I'm out in my raincoat and boots dancing around in the rain. It's always been soothing for me, and I've always loved it. Everything about rain captures my heart and soul, it's sound, it's feel, it's look, and it's smell. I'm almost as in love with rain as I am with my husband, family and friends.
Music is also a huge part of my life. In fact, it's the rhythm to my dancing, and without it, I don't think I would be half as talented as I am, although, I have been known to dance to the sound of the rain. I'm always listening to music though, and even when I can't physically listen to it, I'll tap my hands against my lap or hum out a melody. I think I'd go insane without something rhythmic and melodic to listen to.
I am constantly exercising in some way, shape or form, and I am a health addict, in fact, besides cupcakes and pie, I think everything in my life is organic or natural. It also helps that I'm a vegetarian. I love jewelery, but I feel as if too much of it can be well..too much. I do love costume jewelery, though. Big plastic bracelets or beaded necklaces just make me smile. I love photography, traveling, art, poetry, reading, museums, aquariums, essential oils, body sprays, showers, beaches, and all of the seasons for different reasons.
I've been living in fear my whole life, but for personal reasons, in fact, I think the only things that have ever really scared me are clowns. I'm sorry, but anyone who needs to paint a smile on their face, and wears that many colors at one time will just never earn my trust. I've just never been afraid of scary movies or anything spooky, in fact, I'm huge on adventures and danger.
I am not at all fond of any type of racism or prejudice, so if you have beef with any one because of their religion, race or culture, don't even bother talking with me.
I'm a pretty down to earth girl. I'll be the first to admit, however, that I've been spoiled my whole life, and I have never hated it. Like all people, I have my ditsy moments, but for the most part, I'm pretty damn intelligent. I am sassy, and sarcastic as hell, and I'm pretty damn feisty and scrappy. I'm mature, for the most part, but I love to have a good time, so I can get pretty crazy.
I was born in Paris, France, in the year nineteen eighty nine on November eighteenth to the most successful doctor in all of Europe, and his beautiful and blushing bride. I was supposed to be their love child, the light in their already lit world, and the continuation of the family they'd started with one another and the home they'd built with one another. They welcomed me into their lives with open arms, brought me home with them and loved me as I should have been loved, as their own flesh and blood.
I was daddy's spoiled little princess, and mommy's angel, and life may have seemed perfect from the outside, but on the inside of our home, a monster lingered about, a monster that referred to itself with the name postpartum depression that controlled my mother when no one was around to see it's evil deeds.
I was only two years old when this started. my mother would constantly hit me and slam me into walls. She would cut me with kitchen knives and burn me with candles. I remember her screaming at the top of her lungs that it was my fault that she was like this. She would tell me it was my fault that daddy had to work overtime, and was too tired to spend any time with her any longer. She'd tell me it was my fault that she was fat and ugly. She would blame me for most anything and make sure I felt the consequences, not in guilt or sorrow, but in physical pain.
It wasn't until her first homicidal attempt did my father catch her dirty and mischievous deeds. I remember her screaming rant of a fit and the searing pain burning through my scalp as she dragged my fragile three year old body from bed to the top of the stairs. I don't remember what she'd yelled, but she pushed me down the long flight of stairs. The last thing i heard before falling unconscious was my father's voice yelling, crying out in agony and pain.
I didn't know where my mother had gone, and the first person I'd seen when opening my eyes was my father. I was too weak and bruised to hug him, and I remember being scared from the memory, from the flashbacks, and from the beeping sounds the hospital made. I remember crying and having nightmares for months after that, but my father would always be there in a heartbeat when I'd wake up screaming and crying in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
It took the best team of child psychologists and years of talking to them while clinging on to my father to convince me that no one would ever hurt me like that again, that my father would protect me.
Time moved on, and while my scars still remain, my wounds have healed. Life had a new beginning, and a new chapter in the book titled 'Caprice Emlyn Priestly'.
Dancing has always been my escape from the reality of pain I was born into, but at the age of eight, I found another distraction from the nightmares haunting me on a nightly basis. In second grade, I found the world of fashion, and it escalated from there, and in fourth grade, my father, with an okay from my psychiatrists and therapists, packed our bags and moves us to Los Angeles to provide a fresh start for me. I still go to a psychiatrist, but getting away from the home in which provided much fear and many nightmares for me gave me freedom, and peace of mind.
In sixth grade, our class began a dare program. Basically, a students against drugs kind of class. A police officer would come in once a week to teach us about the less than thrilling consequences of smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol and the use of drugs. Of course, it was only natural that I would become one of the rebels in my class to get their hands on cigarettes and alcohol, and while I'd never had any interest in drugs, I did find ways to have a good time.
It was only weeks after the dare program had ended, and we all supposedly graduated, that we were introduced to human anatomy, and what came with it. It was somewhere near the end of the year that I decided to lose my virginity and get it over with. A dear friend of mine, Brayden Barnes, was the guy I chose to strip me of the small amount of innocence I had left. It was kept a secret from my father. Of course, he'd known I'd lost my virginity, however, it was never disclosed at what age with him.
For the longest time, I was afraid of commitment, and so I slept around. I got known as a slut, and became the easy girl for guys to go with, but the summer after sophomore year, that all changed when I visited my aunt in New York. I only spent a summer every once in a blue moon with her, and it was usually pretty lame, but she'd surprised me by inviting one of the closest friends I had in New York over. The second night in town, my aunt had surprised us with tickets to see one of my favorite bands backstage. We got to meet the band, and I hit it off really well with the lead singer, Mr. Tyler, himself. We became friends, and I found him visiting my aunt's house a few times to spend time with me before he left town. What I never told my aunt was that when she was out at the grocery store, he's come over and we had more than just our share of fun.
That summer ended, and I remember talking to Mr. Tyler on the phone all the time. It's funny because I'd always considered myself no one, and so when one of Hollywood's most famous musicians took an interest in me, I felt like I was dreaming. He made me smile, and he just gave me this incredible feeling inside, and then, he surprised me.
I'd just started my junior year of high school, and one of the main things our school did was have spirit week in the beginning of the school year to get every one pumped for th coming year. The juniors won, and we were awarded with a concert. I remember being so excited about seeing Mr. Tyler again, and he even called me to say he was excited about doing the show, but, what I never expected was for him to call me up on stage in front of my whole junior class to dance to one of the band's more romantic songs, and in front of my whole class of at least two hundred kids, he asked me to be his girlfriend. How could I refuse?
I became famous through association, and even my dad seemed okay with me dating an older guy. Of course, he had to meet and approve of the rock star first, but, everything seemed too perfect to be real. I tried to be as private about my life as possible considering I now had paparazzi following me all over the place, but it was only so long that I was able to hide and a few weeks after turning sixteen, I was caught dancing on our school's football field in the rain.
I was called crazy, and rumors started circulating about me almost immediately, but, it seemed to impress Renegade studios, and in the blink of an eye, an agent was having me sign a contract and join Renegade Studios team, I was dancing in my boyfriend's music videos, and I was trying to survive life, and high school.
It wasn't until that summer that Mr. Tyler began to travel heavily, and the time away from each other killed us, and I'd been cast in a movie so we mutually broke it off. I met Mr. Kensington then. He was my co-star in the movie, and we spent a lot of time getting to know each other, and he pretty uch put my broken heart back together again. I'm not going to lie, I was weary about getting back into the dating game, but, he just became my best friend, and it just kind of happened. We dated for about year before he popped the question, and I married him when I was eighteen years old, going on nineteen. We've been married for almost a year now, and both our marriage, and careers are going strong.
That's my life in a nutshell so you can love me or hate me. Either way, it's still attention.
"
¤´¯`-´¯`¤ ¤´¯`-´¯`¤¤´¯`-´¯`¤ ¤´¯`-´¯`¤¤´¯`-´¯`¤ ¤´¯`-´¯`¤¤´¯`-´¯`¤
[/size][/b][/color]Caprice Emlyn Priestly-Kensington.
"Cap, Riese, Emm, Emmy, Priestly, Kensington, P.K."
"The first and most important thing you need to know about me is that my ass is addicted to coffee. In fact, I can't go more than four hours without having another cup in my system. I've heard all kinds of jokes stemming from suggestions to go to group therapy fro being a coffee-holic, to being placed onto an IV filled with freshly brewed coffee. They were joking, but the IV sounds like a great deal to me.
I'm interested in several things, but I'm sure the tabloids have already covered all of the small stuff. I will, however, give you few of the things that are most important to me. I love to dance, it's my main passion, and while I've been in a movie, and a few television shows, acting can not compare to how my heart and soul feel when I'm twirling around, and dancing freely. I'm also really into candles and incense. I love the smell that emanates from them, and it's ridiculous how many candles I have in the home I share with my husband. In fact, it's ridiculous how many candles I own period. I'm known for leaving at least six candles any where I'll be staying. Even my father's house has my old collection of candles, and you can bet your ass that I bring candles to any hotel I'll be staying in.
I'm a shopping fiend. It's one thing to go shopping, but when I do, I make the most of the experience. First, I never go shopping alone, and I always try on as many clothes, and outfits as possible, and there's nothing like hearing the sweet sound of the credit card receipt printing after I've made a rather large purchase, and you can bet your ass that when I have a free moment from work, and my husband, I'm going shopping with my girls before hitting the town for a night full of parties in the hottest and latest fashions.
I'm obsessed with the rain. It's fun in the sun, but when the moon is shining bright in the sky that has opened it's soul and released it's tears upon the world below, there's something inside of me that just melts, and as quickly as I can get sick and catch a cold, I'm out in my raincoat and boots dancing around in the rain. It's always been soothing for me, and I've always loved it. Everything about rain captures my heart and soul, it's sound, it's feel, it's look, and it's smell. I'm almost as in love with rain as I am with my husband, family and friends.
Music is also a huge part of my life. In fact, it's the rhythm to my dancing, and without it, I don't think I would be half as talented as I am, although, I have been known to dance to the sound of the rain. I'm always listening to music though, and even when I can't physically listen to it, I'll tap my hands against my lap or hum out a melody. I think I'd go insane without something rhythmic and melodic to listen to.
I am constantly exercising in some way, shape or form, and I am a health addict, in fact, besides cupcakes and pie, I think everything in my life is organic or natural. It also helps that I'm a vegetarian. I love jewelery, but I feel as if too much of it can be well..too much. I do love costume jewelery, though. Big plastic bracelets or beaded necklaces just make me smile. I love photography, traveling, art, poetry, reading, museums, aquariums, essential oils, body sprays, showers, beaches, and all of the seasons for different reasons.
I've been living in fear my whole life, but for personal reasons, in fact, I think the only things that have ever really scared me are clowns. I'm sorry, but anyone who needs to paint a smile on their face, and wears that many colors at one time will just never earn my trust. I've just never been afraid of scary movies or anything spooky, in fact, I'm huge on adventures and danger.
I am not at all fond of any type of racism or prejudice, so if you have beef with any one because of their religion, race or culture, don't even bother talking with me.
I'm a pretty down to earth girl. I'll be the first to admit, however, that I've been spoiled my whole life, and I have never hated it. Like all people, I have my ditsy moments, but for the most part, I'm pretty damn intelligent. I am sassy, and sarcastic as hell, and I'm pretty damn feisty and scrappy. I'm mature, for the most part, but I love to have a good time, so I can get pretty crazy.
I was born in Paris, France, in the year nineteen eighty nine on November eighteenth to the most successful doctor in all of Europe, and his beautiful and blushing bride. I was supposed to be their love child, the light in their already lit world, and the continuation of the family they'd started with one another and the home they'd built with one another. They welcomed me into their lives with open arms, brought me home with them and loved me as I should have been loved, as their own flesh and blood.
I was daddy's spoiled little princess, and mommy's angel, and life may have seemed perfect from the outside, but on the inside of our home, a monster lingered about, a monster that referred to itself with the name postpartum depression that controlled my mother when no one was around to see it's evil deeds.
I was only two years old when this started. my mother would constantly hit me and slam me into walls. She would cut me with kitchen knives and burn me with candles. I remember her screaming at the top of her lungs that it was my fault that she was like this. She would tell me it was my fault that daddy had to work overtime, and was too tired to spend any time with her any longer. She'd tell me it was my fault that she was fat and ugly. She would blame me for most anything and make sure I felt the consequences, not in guilt or sorrow, but in physical pain.
It wasn't until her first homicidal attempt did my father catch her dirty and mischievous deeds. I remember her screaming rant of a fit and the searing pain burning through my scalp as she dragged my fragile three year old body from bed to the top of the stairs. I don't remember what she'd yelled, but she pushed me down the long flight of stairs. The last thing i heard before falling unconscious was my father's voice yelling, crying out in agony and pain.
I didn't know where my mother had gone, and the first person I'd seen when opening my eyes was my father. I was too weak and bruised to hug him, and I remember being scared from the memory, from the flashbacks, and from the beeping sounds the hospital made. I remember crying and having nightmares for months after that, but my father would always be there in a heartbeat when I'd wake up screaming and crying in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
It took the best team of child psychologists and years of talking to them while clinging on to my father to convince me that no one would ever hurt me like that again, that my father would protect me.
Time moved on, and while my scars still remain, my wounds have healed. Life had a new beginning, and a new chapter in the book titled 'Caprice Emlyn Priestly'.
Dancing has always been my escape from the reality of pain I was born into, but at the age of eight, I found another distraction from the nightmares haunting me on a nightly basis. In second grade, I found the world of fashion, and it escalated from there, and in fourth grade, my father, with an okay from my psychiatrists and therapists, packed our bags and moves us to Los Angeles to provide a fresh start for me. I still go to a psychiatrist, but getting away from the home in which provided much fear and many nightmares for me gave me freedom, and peace of mind.
In sixth grade, our class began a dare program. Basically, a students against drugs kind of class. A police officer would come in once a week to teach us about the less than thrilling consequences of smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol and the use of drugs. Of course, it was only natural that I would become one of the rebels in my class to get their hands on cigarettes and alcohol, and while I'd never had any interest in drugs, I did find ways to have a good time.
It was only weeks after the dare program had ended, and we all supposedly graduated, that we were introduced to human anatomy, and what came with it. It was somewhere near the end of the year that I decided to lose my virginity and get it over with. A dear friend of mine, Brayden Barnes, was the guy I chose to strip me of the small amount of innocence I had left. It was kept a secret from my father. Of course, he'd known I'd lost my virginity, however, it was never disclosed at what age with him.
For the longest time, I was afraid of commitment, and so I slept around. I got known as a slut, and became the easy girl for guys to go with, but the summer after sophomore year, that all changed when I visited my aunt in New York. I only spent a summer every once in a blue moon with her, and it was usually pretty lame, but she'd surprised me by inviting one of the closest friends I had in New York over. The second night in town, my aunt had surprised us with tickets to see one of my favorite bands backstage. We got to meet the band, and I hit it off really well with the lead singer, Mr. Tyler, himself. We became friends, and I found him visiting my aunt's house a few times to spend time with me before he left town. What I never told my aunt was that when she was out at the grocery store, he's come over and we had more than just our share of fun.
That summer ended, and I remember talking to Mr. Tyler on the phone all the time. It's funny because I'd always considered myself no one, and so when one of Hollywood's most famous musicians took an interest in me, I felt like I was dreaming. He made me smile, and he just gave me this incredible feeling inside, and then, he surprised me.
I'd just started my junior year of high school, and one of the main things our school did was have spirit week in the beginning of the school year to get every one pumped for th coming year. The juniors won, and we were awarded with a concert. I remember being so excited about seeing Mr. Tyler again, and he even called me to say he was excited about doing the show, but, what I never expected was for him to call me up on stage in front of my whole junior class to dance to one of the band's more romantic songs, and in front of my whole class of at least two hundred kids, he asked me to be his girlfriend. How could I refuse?
I became famous through association, and even my dad seemed okay with me dating an older guy. Of course, he had to meet and approve of the rock star first, but, everything seemed too perfect to be real. I tried to be as private about my life as possible considering I now had paparazzi following me all over the place, but it was only so long that I was able to hide and a few weeks after turning sixteen, I was caught dancing on our school's football field in the rain.
I was called crazy, and rumors started circulating about me almost immediately, but, it seemed to impress Renegade studios, and in the blink of an eye, an agent was having me sign a contract and join Renegade Studios team, I was dancing in my boyfriend's music videos, and I was trying to survive life, and high school.
It wasn't until that summer that Mr. Tyler began to travel heavily, and the time away from each other killed us, and I'd been cast in a movie so we mutually broke it off. I met Mr. Kensington then. He was my co-star in the movie, and we spent a lot of time getting to know each other, and he pretty uch put my broken heart back together again. I'm not going to lie, I was weary about getting back into the dating game, but, he just became my best friend, and it just kind of happened. We dated for about year before he popped the question, and I married him when I was eighteen years old, going on nineteen. We've been married for almost a year now, and both our marriage, and careers are going strong.
That's my life in a nutshell so you can love me or hate me. Either way, it's still attention.
"¤´¯`-´¯`¤ ¤´¯`-´¯`¤¤´¯`-´¯`¤ ¤´¯`-´¯`¤¤´¯`-´¯`¤ ¤´¯`-´¯`¤¤´¯`-´¯`¤
how can i decide what's right?.
when you're clouding up my mind.[/font][/i]
i cant win you're losing fight[/size][/b][/color]
all the time.[/font][/i]
-----♥-----[/size]
[/center]
RIIIIIING!
That was it, the indication that fourth period had begun, and while most of the seniors who had study hall this period wasted no time in escaping the jail that bind them here every day for nine and a half months. Most of them would hop in their cars and go for an hour long joy ride, and some would run off to the library to study, yet others would simply head off to the courtyard to catch some fresh air and enjoy the warm weather Australia had to offer.
While Caprice would have usually been using the opportunity to spend time with Decklen or Summer, or even sun bathe in the courtyard or on their schools stadium field, she found herself with a trouble mind and heart pacing back and forth in front of classroom number two hundred and forty.
She'd never quite understood how they'd come up with the numbers for the classrooms in this school, but today, the big, black, bold numbers painted on every wooden door lining the empty hallways was the last thing on her mind. Instead, memories of her summer's past flooded her mind, between sweet kisses and steamy, foggy sexual intercourse. They'd had dinner, lunch, and breakfast together, walked along the beach holding hands, spent lazy afternoons watching movies or playing video games, and on endlessly romantic and perfect nights they would spend their time getting to know everything about each other. Their fling had been her ideal vision of a relationship, and when the summer was over, she was called back home into the loving arms of her boyfriend, and he was called back to work. Never had she expected to see Maxwell Read in her first period English class..teaching the class!
Caprice's heels clicked against the marble floor as she took deep breaths, one right after another, attempting to calm her racing heart and ease her nerves.
"This can't happen.."
She nodded her head in agreement with herself, taking another deep breath before continuing, still pacing outside of the empty classroom, the classroom she knew he was sitting inside of creating a curriculum or putting together a homework assignment.
"He's a teacher..and you're his student..and you didn't know!"
It had sounded more convincing in her head than it had out loud in the empty hallways. It was consoling to know that he had been just as surprised to see her, however, as she had been to see him.
Caprice played over the past few months events in her head. She still couldn't understand how she'd missed it, how she hadn't known he was a teacher at her school. Neither of this had seen this coming, and while Caprice wasn't big on surprises, she was big on fairy tales, fate and serendipitous occurrences.
Picking her feet up, the feisty brunette began pacing back and forth again, her heels echoing throughout the bare hallways as she desperately attempted to organize her thoughts, make any sense out of the situation at all. She was scared out of her wits at the moment.
Caprice had always known her heart belonged to Decklen. Their group of friends had hung out together since grade school or longer, and while she hadn't truly known Decklen until seventh grade, she'd known at hello that he would be the one to take care of her for the rest of her life through drunken rages and sincere moments. It wasn't long until the two hit it off, becoming best friends, and eventually, lovers.
Now, with the cheating mess he'd created, she'd drowned her sorrows in shots of whiskey and beers. leading her to Max, a rebound man she'd never believed she'd see again, and while she could have wished away the memories, pretended none of it had ever happened to subside her guilty conscience, she would have been lying to herself, she would have been untrue to her heart which had become completely infatuated with him. He was everything she'd been wishing for and more.
"Ugh!"
She groaned, sliding her back against the wall before plopping down on the ground, running her hands through her hair out of frustration. She couldn't believe this was happening, and at the same time, she couldn't completely say she was sorry it had.
"Mr. Read.."
Caprice wrinkled her nose up at the sound of the name the man had given to his class today. It had made him sound so old, and it made her feel uncomfortable thinking of him with the title mister. She'd grown so used to Max that any other title sounded odd belonging to him.
"Oh boy.."
Oh boy was right and she was ready to give in. What exactly she was giving into was unclear at the moment.
all the things she said, all the things she said
running through my head, running through my mind, running through my head
all the things she said, all the things she said
running through my head, all the things she said
this is not enough
Caprice lifted herself from the ground taking one more deep breath before placing her hand on the silver knob of the heavy, wooden door, but she paused again, biting her bottom lip gently. Her heart had begun pounding again, and she couldn't believe she was about to do this. Half of her knew she had to for his sake, and for hers. She had to be strong, fight against her weak, and fragile teenage heart to protect both of them.
i'm in serious shit, i feel totally lost
if i'm asking for help, it's only because
being with you has opened my eyes
could i ever believe such a perfect surprise?
Slowly turning the knob to the door, she felt paralyzed, her whole being growing numb as she tried to center herself from having been torn between two different worlds.
i keep asking myself, wondering how
i keep closing my eyes, but i can't block you out
wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
nobody else, so we can be free
There wasn't any other time, there was a here and now, and this couldn't wait any longer. Biting harder onto her bottom lip, a look of pain crossed her face as she looked over her shoulder one last time to make sure they'd be alone. and when she was almost positive they were, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and prayed for a miracle.
all the things she said, all the things she said
running through my head, running through my head, running through my head
all the things she said, all the things she said
running through my head, running through my head, all the things she said
this is not enough, this is not enough
Dodging into the classroom in a quick and swift motion as if she were a government spy lurking around the building, Caprice practically slammed the door behind her, quickly straightening her posture and smiling sweetly towards the charming brunette.
"Hi.."
She waved her hand in an over dramatic gesture before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. This was unreal, facing the man she'd spent all summer infatuated with in an awkward face to face.
i'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
they say it's my fault but i want her so much
wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
come in over my face, wash away all the shame
Her cheeks were a pale pink color as she tried connecting the perfect words she had up in her head with the words that would roll off of the tip of her tongue, and as she struggled with the adjustment, she remained silent, a pain stricken look on her face.
She never spoke, instead, she stood struggling with the temptation to march up to him and press her lips against her, but there's only so long you could fight temptation.
when they stop and stare, don't worry me
cause i'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me
i can try to pretend, i can try to forget
but it's driving me mad, going out of my head
Caprice let go of everything in that moment, including her strength and independence, and in the heat of the moment, looking into his coffee shaded eyes, she marched right up to him, placed her hands on either side of his face and kissed him, her lips pressing firmly against his. She needed it back, the warmth he brought when he held her in his arms, and the weakness that surged throughout her body every time their lips met in a passionate embrace.
She couldn't get herself together, she was soaking in the pain of all of it, and while she allowed herself to continue kissing him, her mind race back to thoughts of Decklen. She'd promised him he'd had her heart all along, but it was a lie. The truth was, her heart was drifting, and while this couldn't possibly work, she still felt herself losing grip on the realty she'd just found was a lie.
Pulling back, she took a step back, looking, boldly, and directly into his eyes.
"I'm sorry.."
Tears formed in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She felt terrible for having lied to him.
"I am so sorry for having lied.."
She paused, collecting her thoughts and taking a deep breath before speaking again.
"I shouldn't have, but you can't deny what we felt.."
She said it without hesitation, knowing he'd felt as completely infatuated with her as she'd been with him. Everything they'd had was completely, and undeniably real.
"that doesn't change just because of this..how old I really am, and who we are.."
She was one hundred percent positive in every word she spoke, but she'd lost track of why she'd truly come into the classroom, and when she'd organized herself enough to remember, the pain started all over again, butterflies quickly multiplying and fluttering in her stomach while she grew nauseous and a lump formed in her throat.
"If I had known..I would have stopped it so it wouldn't come to this..Max.."
Max. As accustomed as she'd become to calling him by that name, it sounded so inappropriate in their current position, standing in a classroom. She started her sentence over, finding the strength to carry her through her words, grudgingly speaking them.
"Max, I just don't think this would be good for either of us."
She stood strong to back her words up, although any one in their right mind could see how weak she truly was under all of it. She didn't want to speak them. She wanted him to push his papers aside and lay her on his desk before taking complete control of her.
"You have your career to look at and I have.."
She paused, not believing at first, the words that were about to come out of her mouth. As much as she loved Decklen, and as terrible as she'd felt about all of this, she couldn't bring herself to believe that Decklen was the one any more.
"my relationship...."
She twisted her lips in an unpleasant form, looking down to the ground, folding her arms across her chest, praying he wouldn't take a word she'd just said seriously. Praying he wouldn't believe her. Caprice could only hope that right now would be the moment some one called her out on a bluff.
mother, looking at me
tell me what do you see?
yes, i've lost my mind
daddy, looking at me
will i ever be free?
have i crossed the line?
word count: 2025
outfit: clickety.
credit: haley loser face ` at caution 2.0 for the template, boo for banner.
status: complete.
jams: decode >> paramore
[/font][/quote]
Boo - Dancer
